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To the audience,
So here it is, the opening day of Pocky Box. I’m expected to say something dynamic and inspirational that will earn the respect of my newfound audience, but as you can plainly see, I’m writing this on Christmas Eve and I have other things to do. I intend to keep this brief so I can get on with my holiday, but I’ll sacrifice what little time I can on this little thing for you guys. Wow, now that I’m here, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous. I’m nervous about all of the little errors that could be hiding in my precious HTML. I’m worried how many people are going to find this site. Most of all, I’m worried about whether or not you’ll like it when you do find it. As you can see, telling the truth is a real downer, so I'll lie and say that I’m confident that this site is bug-free and will get more attention and respect than eBay. It was my intention of publishing a site that is personal enough for me to care about, yet not so much that it will scare off people. I intend to scare off you people by my own means, and I’ll be damned if your lack of interest will beat me to it. That’s the kind of site I wanted to build: one that uses humor to get a point across. At times, the topics will serious that I won’t use humor to get to the point. Sometimes there will be humor, but no point. Sometimes there will be neither; these pieces look like Internet error messages that are intentional and not the result of cruddy coding by yours truly. I wanted to create a site that not only expresses my opinions, but hopefully makes you think about your own. I’ve always accused myself of thinking too much about things that don’t directly affect me. Thinking about such things as proven to be extremely beneficial to humanity as a whole, and while I’m not saying that this site will bring a new line of thinking to the humanity’s table, I am suggesting that it is a possibility. Personally, I’m banking on the last one. I’m also hoping to entertain. There are a lot of neat things to do on the Internet, though most of those things have to do with naked people, not that there is anything wrong with that. The problem is a lot of places of employment don’t really like their workers to look at naked people on company computers, because horniness at work can’t lead to anything good. I’m guessing you’re reading this from work or school now, since I doubt that you’ll let me into your homes on your own free time. I, of course, would love it if you did, especially if you have Hot Pockets on hand. I have expectations for Pocky Box. A long time ago (1999), I had a site called LWC’s Realm of Insanity. Despite the genius title and lack of useful content (I don’t understand why people wouldn’t want to look drawings of me created in Paint), the site tanked with only 1000 hits in a single year and no feedback from my readers. I shut down the site because I knew I had nothing new to contribute to the Internet. It’s different now. I have every intention of adding the best writing I can muster to the Internet’s teeming pool of collective opinion. Pocky Box is starting out on a free server, but I hope to expand into something bigger, better, and really cool. In other words, something I have to pay for, but we’ll worry about that later. I guess I should thank a few people for helping in obscure ways. First, I’d like to thank my loving girlfriend, Christy, who has been supporting me and keeping me in high spirits so I can write for you people. Next up is my old friend C, whose friendship has been appreciated and whose contributions to this site will hopefully help make it a success. I’ll put my mother down here, too, for loving me and letting me mooch off of her for twenty-two years and running. I thank my 7th grade English teacher, Misses Heintschel, for teaching me that writing is good, thus sowing the seeds for what you are reading now. Props to all of the other great English teachers I've had, too, for being inspirations. If any of my old English teachers are reading this and want to know if you fall under this category, drop me a line. If you were an inspiration, I’ll tell you. If you were less than an inspiration, I’ll ignore your e-mail and blame it on the spam filter, should I need to. I also want to thank my readers. It’s you guys that are giving me a reason to write. Knowing that I can entertain, educate, and, yes, laugh with you all is a great reason to share my writing. I look forward to hearing from all of you, so feel free to drop me a line whenever you feel like it. You risk suffering my ego, though, so do so at your own risk. I’d like to close by saying why I choose a Christmas launch. For one thing, I am interested in the possibility that I could overshadow the biggest holiday ever by having the site’s anniversary fall on it. Plus, the date will be easier for me to remember. But the real reason is that Christmas is a special time for me, just like it is for so many, and, hopefully, I can make it a little more special for all of you by putting a smile on your face and an idea in your head. Well, I’m off into the rush of the holidays once again, but I’m glad I could share a little time with my new audience who I’m hoping to get to know. Happy holidays! Sincerely, |