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Features
Bug Our exclusive comic strip about a dog named Tucker whose lone goal in life is to get some serious petting. Follow the story of Tucker and his exploits through the modern American home!
eBay eDiots: The Feature The eDiocies of dull-witted e-patrons could no longer be contained in a single article! Explore the wonders of the simple-minded when hurdle themselves into the pitfalls of e-commerce!
The Iron Nerd
Foam Dart Gun Challenge
We scour the seediest dollar stores in search for the most powerful, destructive weapons forged of plastic and foam. Check out our feature that tests the mettle of these infinitely fun guns! [please note that this feature is no longer being updated. To view the archived version, click here.]
Articles
A Dedication to the Dream Zasada Dreams are an amazing thing. They motivate us to make personal sacrifices and rise above the challenges life place before us. On one December day, Zasada finally realized his ultimate dream: a basement to watch anime in.
I Want to Suck your Brains Zasada We're willing to bet you thought a standard C-list zombie movie had as much cinematic worth as an entire police force verses the undead? Well, those flicks are generally worth less than that, but that doesn't stop Zasada from analyzing the metaphoric intricacies of the genre.
A Thirty-Minute Haunted Extravaganza Zasada Inspired by the Mansfield haunted prison, Zasada grabs a few props and slaps together a horror show in thirty minutes or less, or your terror is free.
Manifests of Evil in Mansfield Zasada Prison can be a scary place. Throw in a few monsters and ghosts, and it gets even worse. Top it all with some crazy future in-laws, and you have a Tortellini of Terror! See how a trip to the haunted prison in Mansfield can be more frightening than the destination.
Zotnummingurtard! Zasada In 1997, a battle waged on for nine months, a conflict very few were aware of, yet had all of the fear, trauma, and unthinkable acts that come with any major war. It was fought in a suburban high school between two nerds and a race of primitive people. This is the story of the Great Tech Prepian War of '97-'98.
An Apple a Day Keeps Production Away Zasada Zasada confesses to one of the most foolish mistakes of his life, bringing shame to his family because of one idiotic act which cost him ten dollars and what was left of his dignity. He became a Mac owner.
My Halloween as Jason Voorhees Part V: A New Befuddlement Zasada Once again taking on the mantle of Jason Voorhees, Zasada not only faces trick-or-treaters and prudish candy-givers, he also faces a new threat he could never have anticipated in his wildest nightmares: Holyween.
The Death of a Pioneer Zasada The closing of the American branch of the anime distribution company Pioneer LDC (aka: Geneon) prompts a discussion of the current state of the anime industry and what fans can do to help.
Living Vicariously Through Jimmy Zasada Some things just bring you back to the days of your youth. An old favorite song, running into someone you used to know, a yearbook, or a video game about going to school. Zasada reflects on his experience with the Rockstar game, Bully, and memories it brought back.
We Are Manly Men Zasada Zasada recalls the history of trips with C to his mother's cottage and compares them to a recent trip, wherein they mounted each other.
What Time is It? Zasada With a pile of unplayed games and a collection of systems that are at least a generation behind, Zasada reflects on why he couldn't be happier about being obsolete.
Third Times a Charm Zasada Somehow miss the glut of movie sequels this summer? Check out Zasada's impressions of this phenomenon!
Anime Haben Ausgenutzt! Zasada Upon completing the thirteen episode anime Elfen Lied, Zasada reflects on the state of the American anime industry and their attempts to hype up the "wrong" elements of the art.
Bull Fighting C After a traumatic experience wherein C gave up a copy of Bully for the Playstation 2 that was intended as a Christmas present for Zasada, he comes to terms with his actions and compares his high school experience to that of the game's main character, Jimmy.
For What It’s Worth:
My Opinion of Casino Royale
C C analyzes the changing of the guard for the James Bond series.
Zasada
Join Zasada as he recalls his latest Halloween escapades! Witness his costume come closer to completion! Hear about his journey to gather free candy! Speculate how the world is going to Hell!
Zasada
Seeking out a practical household items, Zasada returns home with something every home needs: a slot machine.
Zasada
Hot on the heels of his e-commerce bashing, Zasada falls vvictim to an Amazon.com policy that has to be seen to believe.
Zasada
The wild world of e-commerce takes a hit in the head as Zasada reveals its dark secrets. He tackles everything from clueless customer service to moronic users to sinister policies, all while revealing juicy tips for fledging sellers! Special tip one: send all of your money to Zasada for a perfectly good reason that is so obvious we won't even explain it.

Updated June 19, 2007
Zasada
Zasada regales us with tales of Halloweens past. An uplifting story that shows no matter how old you are or how far you've come, you can always walk around at night dressed as something freakish and beg for free candy.
Zasada
An article from over a year before Pocky Box came into being, Zasada tells the tale of how a tradition started that still has Oregon residents writing into their congresspersons to have assault rifle laws relaxed.
C
C recalls his journey away from the world of He-Man and how he eventually found it again. He is saved and isn't going to Hell now that he accepted He-Man as his personal lord and saviour! Er, wait, wrong super hero with longish hair...
Zasada
It's that time of year again, when an unrelenting army of high school students attacks the land with blasts of bass notes. It's marching band season. Zasada reminisces about his days as a lowly trombone player and the egocentric band he performed in.
Zasada
An innocent attempt at entering the Jafax 10 cosplay turns into a battle of philosophies that leaves egg on the face of the Jafax staff and Zasada with some tarnished memories.
Zasada
With the announcement of the Naruto anime' US release, Zasada reflects on how massive popularity of anime' can hurt its artistic cred, thanks to paranoid distribution companies and jaded fans.
Zasada
A lengthy guide to garage sales, covering everything from hosting to finding the garage sale for you. Increase your sales, find valuable items! Guaranteed or your money back!
(and before any of you try to get clever about counting donations and the like, total money back equals zip)
Zasada
Zasada reflects briefly on the eight years he's been into anime', all brought upon by sorting old shirts.
Zasada
A loving look at one of the best designs in board game history. Complete with a little history of board games, which Zasada almost actually did some research on!
Zasada
Zasada takes a loving look back at some old childhood friends and ignores them completely, because April O'Neil is still hot.
Zasada
Men love their technology. Zasada makes several points about how men, technology, and sex are way too close together. Also, make sure you cover your keyboard with a towel, because he also describes one really sexy entertainment center.
Zasada
The harsh winter weather is upon us, and Zasada reports his contribution in the fight against the elements: sledding.
Zasada
When presented with a fresh jar of Play Doh, Zasada whips up a fun-filled project that goes horribly wrong. Life lesson: never mix Play Doh and ninjas.
C
C explores the symbolism of cultural revolution that can be found the James Bond film Golden Eye. At least he's not looking for the meaning of life in Star Trek.
Zasada
Zasada confesses his morbid garage sale fetish in front of the world. Donations for his therapy are being accepted, preferably in cash.