Bull Fighting
C January 4, 2007

Everybody knows I bought Chris Zasada Bully for the Playstation 2 for Christmas.

Then, because I care for him very much and for no other reason, I felt compelled to extensively "test" the game to ensure it was free of bugs, scratches, my fingerprints, etc. I even, because I am such a nice guy, informed him he would be getting an unwrapped present.

I am pleased to announce, after nearly 15 game hours (at least three hours a night for two weeks), I have tested the game all the way through.

Now I am sad, because I have to give it away in another week, and I might not be getting one in return. But, that's the cost of giving presents.

What I did learn is that I am still highly susceptible to being drawn into a fictitious world, and that I am still not entirely over high school. Chris and I talk about this often enough that it should not surprise either one of us. I have a number of regrets about high school, and the one that haunts me most is that I didn't have more fun.

Jimmy, the main character of the game, is not who I was in high school, though I think everyone will try to compare themselves to him. Jimmy is who I would be if I could do it again. He's got the mind of an adult trapped in the worldview of a high school student, and that can be dangerous.

Essentially, there are four main cliques at Bullworth Academy: Nerds, Preps, Greasers, and Jocks (actually, there are two others, Townies and Bullies). It isn't specifically stated anywhere, but basically the point of the game is to beat up the leader of each group, and get his girlfriend to like you.

As I play this, I can't get over the fact that the Preps irritate me far more than any other group. It's a real, physical hatred, inspired mostly by memories of a kid named Jay Harrington, who my mom always thought was such a nice boy, who liked to put grass in my water bottle during track practice, and who alone made the worst of my high school experience.

But I think there's another, more sinister reason for my loathing of the Preps. Jimmy is who I would be if I could do it again, but looking back, when I couldn't see past the walls of the high school cafeteria, I think the group I most easily fell into was that of the Prep. I didn't get out of collared shirts and dress pants until I was 21, and I always made a point of pretending to know a lot more than I did. Preps are the symbol of my lost high school experience, and if I could do it over again, I would know enough to see how I was being molded.

At the same time, it occurs to me Chris and I were in completely different worlds in high school, and were it not for our friendship in elementary school I don't think I would have ever met him. While I was constantly complaining about the Harringtons of the school, his problems stemmed from a group of kids he was proud to call the Jocks. I couldn't sympathize because I was friends with most of those guys. By participating in track and cross country, I made a kind of half step into their world which caused them to leave me alone. I now see where they might have been annoying otherwise.

The Greasers only irritate me in as much as I'm not convinced they're a real group anymore. There may have been a few people who hung around the auto shop, but not nearly enough to call a formidable opponent. Then again, maybe they were just outside my high school blinders. The Greasers remind me nothing so much as James Dean, The Fonz, and my parents back when they were hip cats in the early 70's.

The last group is the Nerds, who I don't have enough of an opinion on to comment extensively about. There were a few really smart kids in my school. There were also a few disturbing ones. But the two never seemed to overlap the way I see them portrayed. If there were a nerd at my school, a nice guy the others ostracized because he was too intelligent, I would like to think I got along with him.

If there is one thing I learned, however, it is that everyone should go out and buy this game because it freaking rocks. It's one of the few games I actually managed to beat, mostly because I was so enamored with playing it, and it's one of the few games I will love to pick up again. Add that to my Christmas list.