I'm Finally Entering 2005!
Chris Zasada February 1, 2009

Welcome to the opening shots of Pocky Blog, a fancy little fanfare that translates into a blog that’s more difficult to update, but is largely pedophile free, save for Uncle Wizard, who insists it’s a preference, not a perversion.

Any person with reasonable deduction skills will probably question the point of a personal blog on a website that is completely dedicated to whatever is in the minds of its writers. It’s sort of like stuffing in a diary as a completely separate entity in between the pages of an autobiography. It’s the kind of redundancy that the previous presidential administration was founded on.

Let me example the validity of Pocky Blog by giving you a behind-the-scenes look at how an article is writing for Pocky Box. Yes, there is a process. It’s not just some arbitrary alphabet soup spilled on the table and arranged in such a way that it’s clear alcohol or pent-up sexual tension was the prime driving force. Well, at least this isn’t how I do it. I can’t speak for C, and looking back on his articles about clubs of the stripping and swinging variety, I’m pretty sure the previously mentioned process births his articles.

An article starts with life. There I am, walking around, usually minding my own business with commentary about the stuff happening around me, perched high with a sort of self-righteous dignity as if I’m actually going to open my mouth and get involved in shaping the social flow, when something out stupids the usual stupidity and inspires me to mock whatever it was that impressed me with its unimpressiveness. It can be something as simple as a balloon or a t-shirt; the starter topic doesn’t matter. From that point, I spin a yarn about mortality or the futility of social equality.

The attempt of an article is to tell a story or make a point about the state of affairs, something that could stand alone in just about any setting. You could read it on this site, in newspaper, in a box, with a fox, or anywhere, and it would still have a semblance of relevancy. Each article is its own asteroid in the universe of literature (the black holes being movie-to-book adapters for children, all but seven bloggers on the internet, Fred Phelps, or any other analogy you want to use that translates in the destruction of coherent literature).

But what happens when one of those stupid things can’t sustain a decent article? What if I don’t have the time or energy to write an article based around the lousy sandwich I had at a restaurant everyone was raving about, especially the restaurant, but in reality, the place should be nailed shut for serving the manna of pigs? A lot of stuff happens in my life, and while interesting, it doesn’t always warrant an article. Most of the time, it doesn’t warrant a second thought.

As I alluded to, time and energy are major factors. While my job allots enough time sitting in front of a computer doing nothing that approaches a lack of job function similar to that of W, it also gets me up before noon, and nothing creative is going to come out of me before then (I am tastefully reframing from a poop joke). Mostly, I spend my downtime surfing the Net, reading the labors of other people’s hard work. For maybe ten minutes in the afternoon, I’ll be motivated enough to croak out something resembling literature. This, of course, assumes I don’t have any work, which for the benefit of my employer, I never have any free time and in fact work six hours of unpaid overtime daily for the good of the college.

As for my free time after hours, you really think I’m going to waste precious anime time writing articles for free?

Yet there are a lot of topics I’d like to cover, and to ignore any one of them would be a blasphemy against literature. Actually, ignoring most of them would be a blessing to literature, but this isn’t going to stop me.

And I’m not going to waste my talents on a social networking website, if for no other reason than everyone else is wasting their talents on them. Or in most cases, getting all of the gunk that’s been clogging their brains and sticking it on the internet for all to revel in its gunky glory. Call me old fashioned regarding a trend that started in the mid-nineties, but I still believe websites are a far more pleasing way to get ideas and information out there, if not because there’s a little more work involved. Go figure publishing a website is actually a difficult alternative to something.

It’s also a plus that I’m not being accosted by advertisements demanding that I meet people and hot babes wanting to be my friends, all of whom I’m sure are real human beings and not bots.

C, meanwhile, seems to prefer being swept away in the social networking mainstream, but I’ll throw him a life preserver one of these days when I paddle ashore.

So that’s the formula in which Pocky Blog is concocted from. You get more of my wonderful opinions and observations, and I don’t have to work so hard at it. Yea for good ol’ fashioned American ingenuity, looking to pump out quantity over quality!