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Balance C November 29, 2004 |
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I’ll have to beg forgiveness here for starting out on a tone that is directly contrary to my true nature. I have absolutely no fondness for organized religion, and I don’t want anything I say here to be construed in that way. It just happens that my scorn for Christianity (being the most prominent branch of organized religion, at least in America) recently came up against my love for stomping, screaming rock and roll music. What can I say, we all have our weak points.
Now, before you read another word of what I have to say, I’m copying and pasting the lyrics of a song off Van Halen’s tenth album. 3: Don't Tell Me (What Love Can Do) It's ok, I'll do what I want If I choose, I can take the fall There's a choice, it's my destiny In my hands, yeah it's up to me I can drive I can shoot a gun in the streets Score me some heroin I can jump, be the sacrifice Bear the cross, just like Jesus Christ And I don't wanna hear What love can do No, I ain't gonna tell you What's right for you Is it right to take the easy way Close your eyes Get on your knees an' pray Now you're saved by a higher voice givin' up, givin' up, givin' up your choice If I'm wrong, then I'll pay for it If I'm right, yeah you're gonna hear about it But I've tried, yeah I've tried for it I tried, I tried, 'til I'm satisfied And I... I'm tired of hearing what love can do And I... Ain't gonna tell you what's right for you I've seen the damage done Down with the shotgun Don't stop the setting sun on my Kingdom Come ohhh... Is it right to take the easy way I don't know, I get on my knees an' pray Now I'm saved by a higher voice Givin' up, givin' up, givin' up my choice If I'm wrong, then I'll pay for it If I'm right, yeah you're gonna deal with it 'Cause I tried, yeah I tried for it I'll try, I'll try, even die for it No I... Don't wanna hear what love can do No I... I can't tell you what's right for you Oh I...I...I... Tell you what love can do No I...I...I... Can't say but your time is through I've seen the damage done Oh Lord, I've heard the shotgun I fought the setting sun On my Kingdom Come ohhh... The name of the album, by the way, is Balance and it is perhaps in that spirit I say that this is perhaps the BEST argument FOR Christianity that I have ever heard. Van Halen comes right out and tells you, they aren’t that condescending brand of Christian that runs around explaining why they’re right and everyone else is wrong. Repent now or I’m gonna be lifted out of my clothes and fly up to heaven while you get the plague or something. You’re going to heeeeeeeeeell, neener neener neener. Van Halen comes out and says, “I can’t tell you what’s right for you.” They don’t care. Then they say, “If I’m wrong, I’ll pay for it; but if I’m right, you’d better be ready to deal with it.” POW. Christian idealism with that oh-so-necessary rock star attitude. We’re taking bets here and I’m throwing in my chips with Jesus. You do what you want, but I’m going to laugh at you when I win. The price is only your soul. If you want to know what it is that really galls me about Christianity, it’s how they want to take away your options. No rock music, no Magic cards, no sex before marriage, and definitely no profanity. This song comes about as close to saying “fuck you” as I suppose they’re allowed. But still they aren’t condescending about it. They actually acknowledge that there’s a choice of religions, choice of priorities, and you can do what you like. It seems to be the resounding message, and it’s how they start the song. If they wanted they could shoot up, kill people and steal cars, but they choose not to. It’s a choice. My choice, and once again, they don’t care. It’s a refreshing change from what you hear from Bible thumpers and lovers of Jack Chick, but they feel absolutely no responsibility to win converts. They’re simply telling you what they’re doing, and fuck you if you want to do something different. I love it. There’s a choice between loving God and spiting Him, and they’re giving theirs up, but so are you if you choose the opposite direction. And just who it is making the choice is yet another punch in their favor. As any good Christian should know, the devil commands the world music industry, and rock and roll is about as evil as it comes (read Angels? if you don’t believe me, which is about the most hilarious tract I’ve ever read; stay tuned for a full rebuttal). The whole Van Halen gang is obviously going straight to hell anyway, right? Once again, it’s their choice, this time they’re sticking it to the administration rather than those of us who reject God because we think it comes with the territory. They’re pretty much sticking it to everybody, the only difference is they’re sticking it in a different way than everybody else, and that’s okay too. It’s got a good beat too, but anyone here remotely familiar with Van Halen should already know that. So, I’m going to end with what you suspected I was getting at the whole time, the suggestion that you buy up Balance and any other Van Halen albums you find. I have no stake in the company, so I don’t really care if you don’t. It’s a choice, and I just got through explaining why all choice is fine. I expect that Van Halen will get to heaven just like they’re praying for and I suspect I would mind seeing them there, if only so I can buy them a beer and walk the rest of the way to hell with a smile on my face. |