Pocky Box: Outrageous Opinions with a Crispy Crunch!
Taking All of Your Valued Opinions and Ridiculing Them in Front of the WorldSend Us Your Money, and You Might Just Get Something in Return!Because We Firmly Believe that You're Nothing but Criminal Scum...We Throw in Everything We Can Get our Hands On!Site Staff / Contact Info: For When You Have the Strange Urge to Talk to UsGive Us Your Money! NOW!!!Because We Honestly Believe You'll Get LostThe Bestest Writin' in the WorldFor the Nerd in All of UsSome Examples of Why the World is Going to HellThe News Archive for those who Don't Want to Miss a Word of Us!

November 4, 2008: Blarg. It's not like I actually thought the Fall would be kinder to my schedule, but this is ridiculous. With Fall classes starting up and members from both clubs I'm advising on campus actually wanting to do stuff, it's all I can do to not set fire to my house in an attempt to fake my own death and turn to a life of nerdy seclusion in some unmarked apartment in Japan. I would never do this because it would cost way more than the insurance money I would get for the house to move all my stuff over there, and the remaining money would be blown on buying a single anime DVD, because they're a lot more expensive over there, and I wouldn’t be able to understand most of it.

Weekends are no help. For the past month, I've apparently been classified as a senior citizen, because I've fallen asleep before midnight on Friday and stay there for twelve hours sometimes. These were the nights I would stay up until my body shut down on its own, and now I'm clocking out before Saturday comes. If I start voluntarily getting up before nine in the morning, I'm officially retiring and spending the rest of my days sitting on the front porch on a rocking chair and yelling at passing kids to get off my lawn.

But on to the site. You may or may not have noticed that we're now located on GoDaddy's server. AOL, in a sign of the times, decided to close down its Hometown service today, sending me scrambling to find some new web space for free. I tried a few "ad-free" (yeah, right) options that didn't work out until I found out GoDaddy offered a nice free hosting package for its members. While the banner you're staring at is way too big, at least it doesn't intrude on the design like before, and the price is right. It's not like any of you have offered to spare us a dime to support any sort of web hosting, so consider a loud banner at the top of the page your cost for free entertainment. Still, I can't believe I miss the days of pop-ups.

The update might seem kind of rushed despite the fact it's been four months in the making, and you can rest assured it is. I have a lot of Halloween articles this year, none finished, and I really wanted to slam out something for Election Day. I'm even working on this AFTER work hours. Don't say I'm not dedicated to you guys. Big surprise, I support Obama, but you can read more about that in the article.

Since the last update, I've become a new car owner. We'll, I've had it since late June, but I haven't had time to write about it, so that statement is technically true. Read all about it here.

Someday we'll get back on track. Someday...



July 4, 2008: Did anyone actually miss us?

First off, we're trying something new and dropping the professional-sounding third person charade I've presented for the update news and starting to use a first-person reference because, let's face it, no one thought I hired someone to write these updates, and since I'm the only one who has ever written the update news, it would be more aesthetically pleasing and less pompous to bring it to a more personal level. I'll stick with this up until the point it gets annoying. I'll keep the third-person stuff for the article descriptions for now.

So, where the hell have we been for the last four months? While I've covered it in two separate articles, I'll spoil the surprise and reveal that I'm once again a dog owner and have become a first-time homeowner. Do not let anyone tell you these things don't take a lot of time an energy, especially if you ever tackle both. Couple this with my job, and I have a routine that consists of getting up at 7 AM, working until 5 PM, getting home around 6 PM, working on the house while listening to complaints from my girlfriend when the tension of her life builds to a point where she tells me I either don't do enough around the house or I don't spend enough time with her and/or listening to the complaints of an irate and slightly insane mother as I scrub dog pee out of the carpet, and then I get to go to bed after 11 PM and the entire thing starts over. So you can probably examine why I haven't had the drive to do an update lately.

Anyway, check out those two articles for the sordid details.

The house itself has taken a lot of my time. Though I would have just let things go until Christy nagged me to get things going, she lit a Fat Man-sized fire under my butt (that is NOT a fart joke, mind) and announced that she was having her graduation party at the house, which was a repo and therefore didn't have much of anything outside of a few crappy shelves and an old microwave. But who am I do complain? You only get to celebrate your high school graduation once.

Just kidding, she's out of four-year college, so you astute readers and/or FBI agents can back off if you did the math using Da Vinci Code-style clues found in various articles and determined I started dating her when she was ten or eleven. Only in hentai, people.

Speaking of high school graduation, I may have finally graduated from high school in my mind after visiting my ala mater and discovering all of the demonic corruptions to my childhood memories known as renovations. But I did get some good out of it, as you can see for yourself in this piece.

C, who hasn't really written anything for me in a long time because he's now in Egypt, managed to slam out the most arrogant piece ever: his memoirs. Inspired by my own summary of my life, he covers his life up to this point in an insanely long piece that might sputter if you're still using dial-up, as well as radio for your primary information gathering source and a phonograph as your version of the iPod. He also gives us a fitting memorial for comedian George Carlin.

Bug is off track again. Maybe next time when Zasada isn't so exasperated with dogs and houses.

So take what you can get, because the way things have been going, we'll see you guys next year.


March 6, 2008: Zasada presents us with a series of stupid mistakes that shows that despite the fact he operates a sophisticated website where his opinions are valued by world leaders, he can make mistakes.

First up is the traditional New Year article, posted a fourth of the way through the year. We can hardly blame him, though, since he had to shrug off his trip to Cleveland and the purchase of an iMac.

Fans of Bug can take comfort in the fact that the strip is finally back on track.

You may have also noticed a slight change over to the left on the menu. We changed our update section New Pocky to Used Pocky. It's a play on the old Pocky boxes, a joke that was overlooked when the site was originally created, but since we had some spare time and motivation, we decided to correct this oversight. Note that the link names are changed as well, so if you had any reason for bookmarking the link, it won't work anymore.



Februrary 1, 2008: This update is dedicated to Sandy Zasada, the Zasada's furry little friend who died because of cancer. Chris dedicates an article to her memory and the latest Bug is dedicated to her memory. She will be missed..


December 28, 2007: We have a quick update this time, featuring C's predictions on the upcoming 2008 presidential elections. Yep, that's it, but don't worry. The reason for the delay will become painfully clear next time...


December 4, 2007: With Zasada moving to a new job and C in the process of being shipped oversees again, Pocky Box has experienced its greatest lag in the updating department. Never fear (or celebrate, whichever the case may be), for Pocky Box is back, and with tons of new articles to show we haven't just been looking at adult pictures on the Net all this time. We were also writing.

It's a religious revival in Pessimistic Politics, wherein Zasada investigates Jesus and his return to Earth. Seriously, Jesus is back! And I'll bet he'll be happy about the latest Chick Tract Trashing, where Chick finally tells the world what happened to the dinosaurs! Well, not really...

Speaking of religion, Zasada has several religious crises in Random Acts of Nerdness. He laments over his lack of gaming time, mourns the passing of beloved anime distribution company Pioneer LDC, and regales us with his perilous journey as Jason Voorhees. And you wonder why the update took so long.

Meanwhile, C has an article about the underground world of swingers clubs. Yes, he has a sex-related article. What did you expect? And in celebration of his birthday (more than two months ago), Zasada reflects on the last twenty-five years of his life.

Hopefully, the next update won't line up with a reflection of the last fifty years of his life...

GameCounter
The Devil's Dictionary Vote, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Join the Pocky Box Newsletter now!