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The world is a strange place, as partially evidenced by the existence of this website.
In that spirit, we present to you Pocky Pictorial, a collection of pictures taken while we were walking around, minding our own business. Stupidity nary leaves a person alone, however, and occasionally, weird stuff jumps out at us. Unless otherwise noted, all pictures contained on this page our real, unaltered, 100% unfiltered insanity. So enjoy these images, make little desktop backgrounds, or claim that you found this stuff yourself (because chicks dig that sort of thing). |
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This Application Has Failed to Start Because: One of my co-workers actually got this warning while they were working on a buggy system. Usually, Windows gives you some kind of reason for its errors. They don't make any sense and may not actually be real, but you're left with the feeling that this was the effect of some cause. Not in this case. I guess Windows just stopped being creative. But seeing how the computer rules over you more than your parents ever could, it's about time it starts spewing out condescending responses like this. Now go to your room. |
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Baby's First Birdhouse: One thing I'm known for is taking the most whimsical things in the world and twisting them into something sinister. I found this cutesy picture in a friend's bathroom, and the first thing I thought was "How is that kid supposed to get out of there?" Seriously, that kid better be like a goldfish, or he's going to be real uncomfortable in a few years. I can't remember the title of this piece, but if it doesn't have one, it should be "For the Love of God, Get Me Out of Here!" |
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Baby's First Cell Phone: Marketing is everything, and the best (by which I mean most asinine) packaging schemes come from cheap Asian toy companies. In a move to bring children into the modern technological, one such company decided to market a toy cell phone to babies. Just look at the picture! Of course this is for babies! Forget the fact it has small parts that Baby will immediately disassemble with his bare hands and swallow! Common sense aside, there’s actually a warning that this toy is for children 3 and up, a complete contradiction of the packaging. No wonder that baby looks so smug! Here’s living dangerously, and he knows it!
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Baby Hanging Station: Most bathroom graffiti you see involves sex, random cursing, or bodily functions. A fine tradition in this field is to scratch out normally-innocent words or letters found on signs or stickers and make then into some offensive or absurd. This is the first time I've every encountered someone using graffiti to CORRECT an offensive idea, especially one that was unintentional. See if you can find the missing letter on this sign for the baby changing station and revel in the concept that could have been.
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Ball of Doom: You have to love modern art, which can sometimes consist of an old chair dug out of the trash or cans of artist dung (you think I'm kidding). So it should be only natural that a university would play host to modern art that can kill you. This piece of inspiration can be found at
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Boat Tripped: Traffic accidents are mostly no laughing matter, but there are a few where gawking is appropriate. I found such an accident on the way home from work, when traffic was halted by a boat that somehow flipped over on and blocked the road. This is humorous enough, but the picture does one better: it almost looks like a couple of fools got trapped under the boat in a rather embarrassing position.
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Crayola Crayon Drink: When established brands decide to reach outside their market, sometimes the results can be pretty baffling. We’re not talking about licensed characters on cereal boxes, which are designed to make children whine and embarrass their parents until they get that particular brand of cereal. We’re talking about brands stepping completely out of their marketplace. Or maybe not. When I first spotted Crayola’s official brand drink, Color Coolerz, my first reaction was “Oh my god! Drinkable crayons!” I personally don’t understand the link, but I guess some kids want a Crayola drink to wash down the crayons.
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Fish Portions: I love it when food companies use blunt words on their packaging to advertise their product. It’s especially fun when off-brand companies task their creative team (Cousin Ned, whose job primarily consists of cleaning out the rat traps) to come up with a way to present their products. And I imagine nothing gets a seafood-lover’s appetite a’roarin’ quiet like the thought of eating fish portions. The worst part is, major brands use this sort of labeling too, coming as a huge surprise to many that the marketing teams of big companies can mess up from time to time.
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Flick-a-Dick: Face it: sexual crudeness is considered high comedy in many circles. Groups of grown adults will start tittering like caffeine-crazed squirrels at the mere mention of the word “tits.” So it should come as absolutely no surprise that some adult novelty company decided to create a little gag lighter that, when activated, produces not a flame, but a little plastic penis! Ha, ha! I’m not sure that I, personally, would pull this prank at a Sunday school party or Grandma Edith’s ninetieth birthday, but the makers of Flick-a-Dick don’t see a problem with this, as they state that “The Amazing Flick-a-Dick Will Provide Hours Of Good Family-Fun!” I’ll bet! Here, Grandma!
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Frisky Snowmen: I'll admit if you want to see some naughty hidden image in something, you're probably going to warp your reality and see it, but just look at this thing. I can't think of any other explanation for this other than some disgruntled holiday decor designer decided to flip the company the bird and threw this thing together. I could easily write off what the big and middle sized ones are doing, but the little one is clearly tapping some snowman base. For those of you looking for some snowman hardcore porn outside of Jack Frost, today is the luckiest day of your life. |
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Frisky Zombies: With the advent of rag doll physics (a technology in video games makes bodies contort to their surroundings, like a rag doll), gamers have been confronted with all sorts of questionable positions for their foe's final resting place. Here's one from Resident Evil: Dead Aim, where a male zombie looks like he's getting a little forward with a female zombie. Why this game wasn't slapped with a Strong Sexual Content label, I'll never know. |
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George W. Button: Okay, anti-Bush paraphernalia is a dime a dozen, but I couldn’t help by take a picture of the display case for George W. buttons at a Saint Louis Spencer’s. Sadly, I couldn’t find a button in this style.
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Ghost Criminal: You might have decided to skip over True Crime: Streets of New York, which is a shame, because even if you can't get into the gameplay of this Grand Theft Auto "inspired" title, you can at least see some cool bugs. One of the objects of the game is to arrest criminals, and I was chasing one down when he climbed a fence and became stuck on that horizontal plane. This meant if the ground dipped down, he would walk on the air, and when the ground climbed up, he would walk through it! I beat him up while he was hovering above ground, and instead of collapsing to the ground like he was supposed to, he turned transparent and just sort of hung there. The worst part was I couldn't arrest him and lost out on the points, but the story was more than worth it. Check out this video to see the bug in action. |
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Jesus Fest: While driving along, minding his own business, C spots this noticed posted on a Georgia Chick-fil-A advertising "Jesus Fest." What this event is, we'll never know, but it shouldn't be a big surprise coming from a restaurant that actually flaunts that it's closed on Sundays. That, and the place is called CHICK-fil-A, for God's sake. |
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Kittens in Food: Graffiti in restroom stalls usually reflects the level of intelligence of its creator (and if you're one of those people who regularly writes on the walls, that level is not very high). I found this one at a local Chinese restaurant amongst the random curse words, sexual innuendo, and racial remarks, carved on an ancient stall divider that consists entirely of rust held together by paint. Nothing like taking another crack at the buffet after reading this helpful warning. |
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Latke Larry: The fact that this is a talk, dancing, Jewish chef doll is not the reason that this particular oddity makes this page. I was walking around the local Value City when this thing caught my eye, not because of the Jewish chef aspect (which I only just learned about while researching this item), but because of the thing he's holding. I swear it looks like the man's making giraffe patties. Just look at those things, same pattern and everything! I didn't know giraffe was kosher, so I guess you learn something new everyday. For more information on Latke Larry, check out the official homepage.
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Live XXX: I found this box sitting out in the frozen foods section at my local Kroger supermarket. In retrospect, I wish I took a look inside. |
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Mighty Pirate Playset: While I was strolling around a Canadian dollar store (which charges more than a dollar on most of their stuff, go figure), I found this cheap Asian playset that represented one of the ballsiest copyright violations I have ever seen. The company took some Pirates of the Caribbean promo art and used it as the art for their product, right down to the logo. I guess their feeble grasp on the US legal system had them conclude that if they give Jack Sparrow an eye patch drawn on in Paint, they were in the clear. Seriously, this is one of the stupidest pieces of packaging I have ever seen. The same store also had a ninja playset with stolen Naruto art, but no one was likely to notice, and there were sadly no Paint eye patches. I did buy that one, though.
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This Page Could Not Be Saved: The humor on this one might go over the heads of the computer illiterate, so I'll explain. On occasion, when one opens too many windows in one session on Internet Explorer (and you know who you are, you porno addicts), the program tends to bug out and produces weird errors. One day, I was downloading all of Chick's tracts when I went over the limit and received this extremely ironic error message. This is absolutely not an alteration; it's a straight screen capture! |
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Painkiller Sticky Car Bug: I remember thinking about realistic body physics back in the early nineties while playing the Jurassic Park Genesis game, when I would wonder how the dinosaurs couldn't slump over the edges of cliffs when I defeated them there instead of lying on what appeared to be an invisible floor. Realistic physics engines have largely taken care of this, but ended up creating new hilarity, like bodies that could be positioned in inappropriate poses. It can also lead to cars getting stuck to walls, as shown in this screenshot of the Xbox version of Painkiller after a scripted explosion. |
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Pirates vs Ninja: I confess 'm not 100% sure what the big deal is about the pirate versus ninja conflict, mostly because I grew up believing ninjas were in a completely different league. This is evidenced by seeing these two playsets I found side-by-side at the local dollar store. It looks like the ninja have taken over and forced the pirates to work for them using sais. That's the only way I can think to explain why a pirate playset has one included, just like the ninja one. It's little wonder the pirates lost, as the ninjas are represented by a fairly ominous warrior, whereas the pirate has a little kid who doesn't look like he's completely grasped the concept of potty training. Although I concede there is a slim chance the reason these playsets are like this is because some marketing group had no clue. |
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redruM!: I was walking down the hallway leading to the restrooms at a local mall, casually looking at the children’s handprints that were plastered on the tiles of the walls. That’s when this one grabbed my attention and forced me to stop and grin. The only way this thing could have been better was if the kid used red paint. The person who shares this kid’s name has pretty much been cast as mentally unstable since a certain 1980 horror film, and a grape jelly handprint seems to be a fitting piece of art for someone with this moniker. |
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Shogun Shiatsu: It’s a known fact that Goodwill is a museum for usually household gadgets, so it shouldn’t come as any surprise that a massager or two would come through there. What struck me is the model they chose to use for the box. What’s the first thing that stands out about this guy, besides the fact he bares a passing resemblance to David Hasselholf? If it wasn’t his hairy arm pits, there’s something wrong with you. Seriously, if you’re going to have a model posing like that, you might want to make sure his pits don’t get more attention than the product, which is oddly hidden from view. |
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Sparky Doll: I doubt this will be funny to anyone outside of a select few or people who would actually buy this sort of thing, but I'll explain. I used to have a rat terrier that, to make things short, was pure evil and would attempt to kill people for certain reasons, such as they existed. He was put down, and nine years after his reign of terror ended, I found a dog-themed shop in a
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Ghost Criminal: You might have decided to skip over True Crime: Streets of New York, which is a shame, because even if you can't get into the gameplay of this Grand Theft Auto "inspired" title, you can at least see some cool bugs. One of the objects of the game is to arrest criminals, and I was chasing one down when he climbed a fence and became stuck on that horizontal plane. This meant if the ground dipped down, he would walk on the air, and when the ground climbed up, he would walk through it! I beat him up while he was hovering above ground, and instead of collapsing to the ground, he turned transparent and just sort of hung there. The worst part was I couldn't arrest him and lost out on the points, but the story was more than worth it. Check out this video to see the bug in action. |
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A World War II Birthday Greeting: This is absolutely the best birthday card I ever received, and perhaps the best anyone could receive. An authentic World War II relic, this was found by a co-worker at a flea market, who did the only logical thing when one stumbles upon such a find: he erased the original message, put my name on there, and gave it away. Why Hallmark (who originally created the card!) doesn't re-release this is a mystery. I mean, come on! It has Hitler AND Hirohito on it! |
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Yahoos of Conscience: I caught this KRT comic in an issue of my college's newspaper, and needless to say, I love it. It's a chilling reminder of how bad thing could be if we let the ol' political scale tip too far right or left. Yes, liberal can be bad at some point.
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You Can Play 'em! Doll: This is just when of the many wonders that can be found at the local dollar store. For whatever reason, some executive at a cheap Asian toy company decided to take their standard Barbie knock-off product line, dress her in fatigues, throw in a few guns and a helmet, and they had the perfect politically-balanced toy for your little boy! Or maybe it's supposed to be for your little girl, so she can finally have a doll that can kick Ken's ass. In any case, I love the slogan on the box. After giving this doll to a co-worker who's into action figures, we took some photos and made this little ad showing another figure "playing" this wonderful toy. |
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Zoombas: There are times I think companies never read what they print on their products, especially in the case of Asian toy companies, because they probably can't read what they print on their products. Here we have egg-shaped water toys with prints of pandas and pirates on them, which is totally acceptable. What gets me is the product claims these toys simulate "Lifelike Action!" Now, I'm not biologist, but I'm pretty sure pandas and disembodied pirate heads don't race around water surfaces with little propellers. I don't think any animal does this, to be honest, except maybe fishermen. |