Pessimistic Politics: Chick Tract Trashing

Special Ingredients: We throw in everything we can get our hands on!

Welcome to Chick Track Trashing, the political feature where we look at the religious propaganda put out by Jack T. Chick of Chick Publications and mock it. We’ll be looking at not only the messages these tracts are trying to convey, but also the techniques used to convey them, such as word usage and artistic style.

For those of you who are in the dark, a Chick tract is a little booklet put out by Chick Publications, a fundamentalist Christian group. The booklets are little comics that point out how everyone but those who accept Jesus Christ as their savior is going to Hell. While this message alone isn’t anything to write home about, Chick chooses to deal with issues like homosexuality and other religions in a highly exaggerative light. Therefore, we can’t accept these as educational material inasmuch as propaganda. You can check them out at chick.com.

You might have come across these tracts before, whether they were laying around some public place or handed to you directly by Chick’s followers (to separate them from other Christian groups who may be more reasonable, we refer to Chick-believers as “Chickians”). Far be it for any of us here at Pocky Box to tell you what to believe, but it’s suggested that you look at more objective (if such a thing can be said for religion) sources than these tracts if you’re going to make an important decision like what kind of religious order you want to follow. These tracts are not good sources.

Before we continue, we must assure our audience that the following articles are not intended to be hate messages against religion, Christian or otherwise, or try to prove one right or wrong. As we’ve explained numerous times, there is no way to tell which religion is “right,’ if such a thing is possible in the first place. Therefore, any observations are just that: observations made by a third party who thinks that there is something seriously wrong with this Chick guy. Who knows, he may be right in the end, but for right now, all we can see is a hateful individual who uses the gospel to manipulate the masses to an image that he prefers. If you don’t agree with what we say, write in. You’re entitled to you’re opinion just as much as we are entitled to ours.

Chick tracts are a bountiful fruit of absurd propaganda techniques. Usually, there is a subject that Chick feels is important to discuss, and he goes on and writes about it while relating it directly to the Bible. We’ve covered the basics of the shallow characters and hate messages in Zasada’s J ack Chick verses the World article, so there’s no need to go over it again.

What some readers may notice is how some words in quotations have a difference type face emphasis. These are quotes lifted directly from the tracts, with all of the emphasis reproduced with it. Chick has a tendency to emphasize words that don’t need to be emphasized, but we’re keeping them in just because it preserves the flavor of the tract. Okay, maybe preserving the flavor of crap isn’t very desirable, but at least you’ll remember it.

If you have any further questions about Chick tracts, please refer to the J ack Chick verses the World article.

With that in mind, let us begin…

	C	A student attempts to use the very science that Chickians condemn to PROVE that evolution is impossible and therefore the Bible must be correct. He would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling false facts!
	Zasada	Two gay dentists come to visit L'il Susy's class without a purpose and go on about how they are oppressed, but will one day rule the world. Thankfully, the all-knowing Susy is able to save her friends from somebody sneaking up on them and turning them gay.
	Zasada	A Christian is filming a gay pep rally and happens to find an Ignorant Guy to covert. We get to hear the story of Sodom again, and we get to see lots of homosexuals and even a big hairy pedophile! Also witness Chick making a mistake on what the Ten Commandments really say!
	Zasada	Chick hits new levels of insanity with this tract about a young boy who begins his life as a serial killer because some boys tell him there is no Santa Claus. No, we are not joking. Witness Chick laying down the groundwork for a real stumper of a philosophical paradox!
	Zasada	When Betsy's brother and her friends decide to cast a "majik" spell, the leader of the group decides they need a black cat to sacrifice, namely Betsy's precious fluffy! It's now a race against time to get everyone, including the cat, saved in this harrowing tract that, after you read it, will conclude that Chick may be losing his "majik": touch.
	Zasada	There's an evil conspiracy in America, one poised on destroying our children and our very (Christian) way of life! It's Islam, and it's out to get you! Learn about the perverted prophet who lusts after little children. No, not priests from the Catholic Church, its Mohammad! Also making an appearance is none other than Colonel Eye Patch! Don't miss it!
	Zasada	A tract about the true meaning of Thanksgiving, which was apparently a Christian holiday all along. We even get a special history lesson about Pilgrims stealing corn and encountering an English-speaking Indian. Plus, learn how to deal with your evil, God-hating family this Thanksgiving holiday! And don't miss C's take on this outrageously asinine tract!
	Zasada	Lance decides to kill himself, and his girlfriend would have to joined him too, if it wasn't for that meddling preacher. A tract that teaches us that Hell is bad. It's supposed to say suicide is bad, but if you read into it, suicide seems all right, but rejecting Jesus is not. We also learn that Hell is NOT a big party that all of our friends will be at. Who would have guessed?
	Zasada	A story about how we live in an evil society that hates Jesus and the penalty for posting the Ten Commandants in schools is a curb stomping by riot police. Who knew? This is the first Chick tract Zasada ever read, so expect a sentimental reflection. Also on hand is a bubble-blowing psycho Christian! Don't miss it!
	Zasada	We all have something in common, namely that we're all going to Hell. Except for Jack Chick, who's better than all of us anyway. Special appearance by Osama bin Laden.
	Zasada	The existence of dinosaurs has long since been a thorn in the side of Creationists. Watch as Chick boldly takes on the problem head on, finally explaining why the dinosaurs are no longer with us: hungry villagers.
	Zasada	When a woman starts screaming about idol worship in an art museum, the curator questions why another's worship is wrong and then goes on about how all other religions exist for the sole purpose of sending people to Hell. Witness the unspeakable evil of premeditated hair pulling and learn that the cross is junk.